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“Eat your heart out baby”.

Length: 2 mins

I’ll be working on updating a page on The Alphabet of Offal — recipes, descriptions of every little bit of delight from the inside, pictures. The whole nine yards. Mind you, even for carnivores, some of this stuff can be a little hard to swallow; for vegetarians, it must be worse than being forced to sup on the very sperm of Satan.

But of all the many offerings available in the meat world, pork is the only one that really satisfies me 100%. It squeals “meat” when you chew it, the fat is sweet and unashamed and authentic. There’s no mistaking it, no disguising it, nothing “tastes-a-bit-like-chicken” about it. It’s the real thing, the emperor of meats. Pace “Trainspotting”:

“Choose life! Choose pork!”

The heart though? Eating something that might just as easily have been my own? Of all the pig’s organs, none is more surgically compatible with its human equivalent. Hard to work out whose is whose on the plate eh? So, cutting to the chase, if you really want to get to the heart of things, it probably tastes quite a bit like yours does. And make no mistake about it: you’ll taste damn good with a bit of spiced kidney stuffing. Oink oink eh?

The heart has a simple and democratic generosity all its own. We offer our hearts to give pleasure and we open our hearts to share pleasure.

“If you have many riches, give some of your wealth; if you have little, give your heart”

But still, still; when it can look as good as this on a plate? Hmmmmm… Aye, there’s the rub.

It was after all good enough for Salma Hayek in “Tale Of Tales“…

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