What are you beefing about?

What’s that you say? This isn’t about pigs & pork? Full marks for observation, pedant. Now geddouddahere! It’s a fun read and a piece of history that you should find interesting.

The piece is called “All You Can Hold for Five Bucks” and was written by a Joseph Mitchell, and published in The New Yorker magazine, April 15, 1939 (p. 40. if you want to check) and is worth 10 minutes of your time, even if you’re more of a pork person.

All You Can Hold for Five Bucks

“I’m The Urban(e) Meat Man, baby, I got speed”.

Thanks to Maurice the @urbanmeatman, I now know the smart new look I need to rock when breaking down carcasses. It’s a very Basque butchers’ beret babe…

© UrbanMeatMan 2017

Austere times call for a diet of long pig? Eat the rich…

Thanks to James Cole, an archaeologist from the University of Brighton, we are now all much better prepared to survive after the zombie apocalypse strikes or, more likely, after the mushroom clouds start blossoming overhead as The Blond Stain and the Brexit fire-starter crowd crowd nuke their supposed “enemies”.

© NY Times 2017

If you survive, you’ll need to know which parts of your fellow humans are the most efficient when eaten (hot or cold) in giving you the energy you’ll need to survive in the cold, ash-strewn wastelands of your nuclear winter homeland.

As well as this informative diagram, the good doctor also gave some further assistance on choosing the best parts of the body to chomp upon, in case you’re fighting with a loved one or friend over who gets what…

Dr. Cole found that human thighs come in at a beefy 13,350 calories, while the calves are about 4,490 calories. The upper arms are around 7,450 calories, and the forearms about 1,660 calories. Within the chest cavity beats a heart that is about 650 calories. There are also the lungs, which come in around 1,600 calories, and below them the liver sits at around 2,570 calories. The kidneys total about 380 calories together.

Long pig. Mmmmmmmmmm. Get used to it.

Singing the praises of the Celts

Not sure how fluent is your Spanish but if it’s to an acceptable level, take a listen to Pablo “Gipsy Chef” Albuerne, here filmed on his “Cooking Tour Of The Asturias” declaiming his righteous love (nothing like that of the oleaginous ex-PM, Cameron’s) for the indeed very beautiful Gochu Asturcelta pig.


Much more on this breed in the next post.

And I missed one…

Apologies to @caranicoletti who, for no sane reason I can work out — early onset senility aside possibly — I omitted from the first draft of my recent piece on women butchers. Thus, she gets a post to herself, at least until I get around to updating the list.

“Just your normal day at the office”

© Cara Nicoletti 2017

Were we not approx. 3,432 miles away on the wrong side of The Pond, we’d very likely be piling on the pounds buying that meat from (and probably eating at the café attached to) Foster Sundry — a “whole animal” butcher where she works — one that also supports an artisan cheese counter and specialty grocer, based in Bushwick, Brooklyn.

From this magnificent morning meat mountain…

© Cara Nicoletti 2017

she produces delights such as this…

© Cara Nicoletti 2017

…as well as finding time to write a book, last year penning “Voracious: A Hungry Reader Cooks Her Way Through Great Books” (a clue to the contents is in the title) and recording some great instructional videos; this one on how to brine & cook pork chops. Brine & pork? What’s not to like? A woman after my own heart! Coming from an Italian line of family butchers (come on, you thought she was Japanese with a name like that?), like all of the other professionals I’ve highlighted here and here, she just gets shit done…

As I say, and I know I keep banging on about it, again and again (and you are paying attention occasionally, aren’t you), you should buy from butchers like this: passionate about and able to speak to the provenance (and thus the welfare) of the animals that she breaks down into the meat that you’ll buy and cook for you and your family & friends. It’s good for the animals, it’s good for the environment, it’s good for you & it’s good for your local community. And so gentle reader, if you happen to be close to Knickerbocker Ave, you know where I’d recommend you to go…