Mince on toast isn’t sloppy, Joe.

A sandwich is a sandwich, but a Manwich is a meal. I have some gay friends who’d 100% agree with that sentiment…

The US “Sloppy Joe” was invented in pre-WW1 Cuba by Spanish cook and bar owner José “Sloppy Joe” Abeal y Otero and it migrated to the US as a meal of ground beef, onions, tomato sauce (or ketchup), Worcestershire sauce plus other seasonings all atop hamburger bun. There’s also the rou jia mo, a dish from Shaanxi Province, China, consists of stewed pork, beef, or lamb on “baijimo”, a type of flatbread and from India, Keema pav offers a pav (from Portuguese “pão”, a country-style soft roll) bread roll filled with keema, a minced, stewed, curried meat.

And back here in Totally Normal Island, there’s a London restaurant that offers a mince on toast and is described by them as…

“gloriously rich beef mince on a thick slice of dripping toast, with a fistful of peppery watercress on top”

…available (usually) from the really excellent, Quality Chop House, which became more than a little infamous when some Septics suggested this plateful was a ‘quintessential British comfort classic’ which — unarguably correct claim — was then dunked on by Jay Rayner, but then what does he know, he’s a complete twat.

Of course it’s a comfort food; that’s exactly what mince is designed for. I think we all need some mince on toast. Of whatever design. Most especially at this time of collective national insanity. I only want the madness to end; is that too much to ask?